I met Mikael and Maria, both Russians, at breakfast at the very quirky Vanny’s Peaceful Guesthouse in Phnom Penh, a short walk from the genocide museum. Mikael is a programmer who had been living in Hanoi for the previous year and a half until recently relocating to Dalat, Vietnam.
As we talked, I realized I had a bias against Russians. I had already expressed my bias to Mark in a Na Trang supermarket a week earlier when the security guard put a lock on our day packs as we entered the store, apparently to prevent theft. There were tons of Russian tourists there and I remarked to Mark, “I bet this store has this kind of Draconian measure because of the Russians.”
In thinking about my bias, I realized it was unfounded and also recognized that it came from a childhood friend of my elder son’s– a Russian immigrant– who would sneak into movie theaters without paying and do similar things. At the time I was afraid of this boy’s influence on my son and at the same time knew it would be futile to forbid the friendship. All I felt I could do was express shock and disappointment at the behavior.
I struggled with my bias as I thoroughly enjoyed Mikael’s descriptions of Hanoi men conversing at earsplittingly loud decibels, impervious to his requests to lower the volume. His descriptions were so funny that I told him that it was evident that he came from the land of Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. It was the stress from dealing with Hanoi colleagues that largely motivated him to move to a more tranquil city–that and Maria’s joining him after a year-long long distance relationship.
In any case, I believe that struggling with my bias will help me to be more fair-minded towards Russians. My delightful conversation with Mikael and Maria didn’t hurt either.
